a drawing of Ben, by Jen Kostecki-Shaw, 2001
The vet hospital called several days ago, but for whatever reason I haven't been able to bring myself to go and pick up Ben's ashes. I simply wasn't ready. I'm honestly not sure if I was ready today, but I stopped by and picked them up anyway. I was fine until I got home, opened up the box that his ashes were in and saw this. Inserted in the box, printed on a small piece of paper was this writing.
There's something missing in my house,
I feel it day and night,
I know it will take time & strength,
Before things feel quite right.
But just for now I need to mourn,
my heart it needs to mend.
Though some may say it's "just a pet"
I know I've lost my friend.
You've brought such laughter to my home
and richness to my days...
A constant friend through joy or loss,
with gentle, loving ways.
Companion, pal & confidante,
a friend I won't forget,
you'll live for always in my heart,
my sweet, forever friend.
Although this might seem cheesy, this short piece captures what I'm feeling. It's been a funky week. I've had some good moments, for sure, but I just feel like I'm in a funk. I've been going non-stop for so long that I'm not sure what to do now that I can actually slow down a bit.
Perhaps it's time to plant some more flowers, visit with friends and family, spend some time in my studio and try to simply enjoy. If there's one thing that all of my animals have taught me it's that time goes too quickly. We are only here once. We might as well make the best of it. :)
I miss you Ben. xo